How Can Men Live Together
~ start by being your own mechanic
Drama is one of the curses of humans living and working together. Add in the intensity and unconscious shadows that are explored in BDSM, leather, gay life and economics in general… and you get drama. So how do we turn Drama into Dharma? How do we turn conflict and emotional reactions into learning and bonding.
The Drama is the Dharma
Dharma in this case I mean a teaching, a path to resolve your own wounds and take responsibility for your emotional projections and to know when you are reacting out of an unconscious agenda and when you need to
Drama in this case is the unconscious, uncontrollable reactions that men half together. I always give you example of the person in the checkout line at the store screaming at the cash register person. The kind of drama that is unconscious. You do not realize what you were doing, and you tell yourself stories to rationalize your fear and anger based reactions. So the very scary and difficult requirement is to face your drama and look into your own wounds, demons and the stories you use to justify your reactions. You must meet the darkness and know the wounds, sources of anger and fears drive your world
Economics is the most common reason given for the failure of intentional communities. There are contracts and structures to address this, first. Economics in our current world are perhaps the biggest constraint.
It’s Work and It’s Not Free
If you want a healthy community, you need commitment and discipline to learn, read and face your own agendas and drama.
#1) Education & Development Resources:
First Stop: The Federation of Intentional Communities is the place to learn how to build your community, read the website, get the books, save yourself a lot of effort.
Grow the Fuck Up: if you want to be in community then you need to learn the tools for converting your drama into teachings and bonding. The Mankind Project and Mankind Pride (the Gay/Bi affinity group) teach men skills for taking emotional responsibility. They are both part of the Mythopoetic Movement, which has been dealing with men and issues for years.
You will need discipline, accept that looking into the mirror will be uncomfortable… if you want everything your way and are not eager to look at your own issues and grow – then Community is not for you.